Aww! My first bomb threat–Spammers are soooo cute!

From my email yesterday:

From: Riley Mitchell <Marcel@virtualfirefox.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2018 11:59 AM
To: sales@comicbase.com
Subject: Rescue service will complicate the situation

Hello.  My recruited person carried a bomb (Hexogen) into the building where your business is located. My man assembled the bomb according to my instructions. It  is small and it is hidden very carefully, it can not damage the building structure, but in case of its explosion there will be many wounded people.

My man is watching the situation around the building. Ifany strange behavior, panic or policeman is noticed the bomb will be exploded.

I can call off my recruited person if you make a transfer. 20’000 usd is the price for your life. Pay it to me in BTC and I guarantee that I will withdraw my recruited person and the device will not detonate. But do not try to cheat- my guarantee will become valid only after 3 confirmations in blockchain.

My payment details (btc address)-1CF9VQhwjJutPxwVq5QLFA7j7baq4RDb3w

You must pay me by the end of the workday. If the workday is over and people start leaving the building the device will detonate.

This is just a business, if you don’t transfer me the bitcoin and the bomb explodes, next time other commercial enterprises will send me more bitcoins, because it is not an isolated incident.

To stay anonimous I will no longer enter this email account. I check my  wallet every 25 min and if I see the money I will order my man to get away.

If an explosion occurred and the authorities read this letter: We arent the terrorist society and dont assume any  liability for acts of terrorism in other places.

Standing strong with heroic resolve in the face of this terrifying threat, I refused to negotiate with this international criminal mastermind. It was a tough decision, but these are the times where it’s critical to show these thugs what Americans are made of. 

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know that the building (my house) still stands, although frighteningly, we did lose Bob the Minion, one of our beloved inflatable Christmas decorations, whose lifeless body was found in the center of our lawn this morning.

I’m sure many in the sleeping outer world must think Bob’s death was a mere blower malfunction of a four year old $30 Christmas decoration. But we can now reveal that his demise was almost certainly an orchestrated hit job to let us know that These Men Were Serious.

But even as we mourn the loss of Bob–a faithful employee whose warmth and goofy appearance always brought a smile to all who knew him–we owe it to his memory to remain steadfast, and to never give in to shadowy forces such as these which would terrorize innocents in search of financial gain.

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